Saturday, March 10

micah's birth day...

what a special day. i have struggled with writing this post because i don't know how to put it all into words. the day flew by...and i desperately tried to savor every (yet painful) moment that brought me closer to meeting this special baby that i had carried with me every where for the past 9 months.

i also struggle with sharing it because it didn't go as i had planned. but, the Lord has taught me so much through it all.

it all began at 4 a.m on tuesday, january 17th.- i woke up with stomach cramps that i thought were due to the mexican food that we had eaten the night before.

i got into bed and began looking up what contractions felt like...and some women had said that it felt like stomach cramps...well ok. i began to wonder if what i was feeling was the real thing. i didn't want to get my hopes up....

**here is why: i had been to the doctor the friday before and i had had no progress...none. nothing. no dilation. no effacement. and the doctor eluded to the fact that he wasn't coming anytime soon. so, i walked. and walked. 2 miles a day that weekend and on monday. i ate pineapple. i ate spicy foods. i bounced up and down on the birth ball every free moment. i wanted progress at my next appointment...dang it.

back to the contractions...i got my ipod out and began to time these cramps on my handy contraction time app. and they were every 4 minutes apart. literally every 4 minutes. at this point, i woke ty up and told him what was going on.

he told me to call the doctor's office. the doctor told me to get to the hospital.

grabbed the hospital bag. and threw in some other necessities. and got in the car.

by 7:30, they placed me in observation just make sure it is the real thing and to wait on the doctor get there to admit me. the contractions were still every 4 minutes apart. while we waited we watched "the office" on ty's iphone to pass the time.


the doctor came around 9...she checked me out and said i was about 3 centimeters and said this baby is coming today.

by 10 a.m. we were in our labor and delivery room. i labored on the ball and walking around and leaning up against the bed to help with contractions.

around 2, my doctor checked me and i was around 5 centimeters and decided to break my water. and after that i had the most intense back labor ever. it was rough. very rough.

**my birth plan was to go natural. my mom did it with me and both my siblings. and i was bound and determined to do the same thing! i had told my doctor what i wanted and she was very supportive. i read books on natural childbirth. took a childbirth class primarily focused on natural childbirth. i wanted a natural birth and a healthy baby.

the back labor was causing me to be very weak.

**ty was seriously the best. he was a rock. reminding me to breath. to relax. reminding me of the end result. he was amazing. he was my advocate. as were my mom and mimi. they knew what i wanted and stood firm.

by 8 o'clock, i was 9 1/2 centimeters...and i was hopeful that i would be meeting my baby within the next few hours. the doctor check me again i was a full 10 centimeters...but his head was not descending as it should...she had me do some pushing. and then just suggested an epidural.

**my ob is amazing. she delivered my brother. she is a christian woman and it is very evident throughout her office. she knew my birth plan and she honored it. i trusted her (and still do) and her training/knowledge. i knew she wanted what was best for me and my baby. (i admitted to my mom after my six week postpartum check up that I was going to miss seeing her as often as I had been!)

she suggested an epidural in order for it to cause me to relax enough to push. at this point, i was exhausted. mentally and of course physically. i had prepared myself mentally to remind myself to relax...but the relaxation wasn't coming. i was tense while push...and nothing was happening. so i decided to get an epidural...i was pretty proud of myself that i went 17 hours in active labor without it!

the epidural didn't help much. his head still would not descend. and that is when the doctor said the only way this baby was going to come without complication was through a c-section. she knew i was upset. i will always remember her coming up to me and stroking my head and holding my hand and telling me everything was going to be ok, but a c-section was necessary.

i cried. days later, i realized just how much i had idolized natural childbirth. i believe the Lord used my c-section to draw me closer to himself and to realize that i was indeed not in control, but HE was.

my mom and mimi prayed over me while ty got dressed in scrubs and the doctor prepped the ER.

they wheeled me in...and ty soon followed. they had the local christian radio playing in the background. the anesthesiologist was such a sweet man. itching my nose when i couldn't and reassuring me that everything was going great.
 
within minutes, they delivered my baby boy. i heard his cry. they lifted him over the partition and i laid eyes on the most beautiful baby boy i had ever seen. i was a mommy. they took him to observation and all i can remember is ty saying over and over again..."he is a 10, meg. they say he is a ten." he weighed 7lbs 8oz. out of my mom, aunt,  and mimi...i delivered the biggest baby in my family.


it was one of the best moments of my life. period. despite the c-section. the Lord was in our midst. i am sure of it. the peace. the calm. my sweet baby that had been flipping around in me for the past 9 months entered this world and made me a mommy.


everyday, i look at micah...i am reminded of the Lord's great faithfulness. throughout my pregnancy. throughout my labor. and throughout my c-section. and even now in my day to day life of motherhood.

Bless the Lord, O my soul,
    and all that is within me,
    bless his holy name!
Psalm 103:1
 

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